Film: The Hot Rock (1972) [Peter Yates, Dir.]

Matinees, your theatre manager is off in the Arctic for a spell and the goal is to keep the film wheel whirling, but we know that for all the inestimable glory of this moviehouse---scheduling can be, eh, a tad off? Is that the most diplomatic (albeit contrite) confessional i can pose? So rest assured, your mama manager is thinking of you all and tucking into your cinematic imaginations randomly wordy, anciently lit, gun wielding, wide-legged and wide-collared campy horrors.

After our beautiful The Spirit of the Beehive and connection to sister love, we are going mad brosky love this week. I had a hard time deciding between our feature flick and another all-dude classic that is also one of my faves (and will make its appearance), but i think The Hot Rock will bring you darlings all the ridiculous heist fever and thrills i wish to leave you with, alors! We begin...

Dr. Amusa (Moses Gunn) wants to hire John Dortmunder (Robert Redford), who just got out of prison to pull off an anti-colonial heist. A precious diamond, the titular "hot rock" was stolen from Dr. Amusa's homeland during the colonial era, then fought over between his nation and a neighboring one--the U.N. is going to rule on possession but Dr. Amusa, diplomat he may be, is not risking the diamond to international glad handing. He wants it back with his people---and is willing to pay no more than 25 Gs per man...plus expenses and a weekly stipend (Sounds like an academic fellowship to me. An awesome one at that.).

Dortmunder's bro-in-law, Andrew Kelp (played by George Segal) is spear-heading this deal and knows Dortmunder's brilliance is key to the heist. The fact that Dortmunder often gets caught is a mere technicality.

Paul Sand is Allan Greenberg, our gang's bomb expert who picked up his skills, not in the military--but the Sorbonne and Berkeley. Hell yeah, the bomb specialist is a student anarcho, Matinee lovers. And he rocks a pretty insane 'fro.

Ron Liebman is Stan Murch, who is wicked and is our wheel man (tell me the A-Team's Murdock was not inspired by Murch).

Zero Mostel has a very cool, very schticky cameo as Abe.

Dr. Amusa is regularly put upon to fund the accelerating extremes (thereby costs) of this heist which just goes from one mess to another. The inability of our anti-heroes to pull this off with any kind of finesse makes this the adorable anti-Ocean's 11. It's like if George Clooney, Woody Allen and John Cassavetes tried to write a caper together, and called in some monologues from Lily Tomlin.

This is the kinda buddy heist movie where the guys plan the heist while holding each other's babies, give each other pep talks, and hit that sweet line between genuine camaraderie and kicking each other's asses. In other words, perfect.

The Hot Rock was originally a novel by Donald E. Westlake, part of a series of adventures with Dortmunder---which have been made into movies from 1974-2001 starring anyone from George C. Scott to Martin Lawrence. Yep.

And hello, if you needed one more reason to watch this delight? Quincy Jones is this killer soundtrack's genius.

You're welcome.

IMDB